Eddie Izzard - Rule Quotes

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In my first year I was taught about the slide rule. They said, "The slide rule is important. Without it you can do nothing. The slide rule is the modern weapon of efficiency. With the slide rule you can get from here to the stars. Buy it, use it – your slide rule!" Within one year it was, "Burn the slide rule. The calculator can add up with none of this fucking sliding the shit around and working out where that bit in the middle goes. Smash it over your head."

Eddie Izzard

We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're going "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag …? "What? We don't need a bloody flag, this is our country, you bastards" "No flag, No Country, You can't have one! Those are the rules... that I just made up!... and I'm backing it up with this gun, that was lent from the National Rifle Association."

Eddie Izzard