Deb Caletti - The Secret Life of Prince Charming (2009)

24 Sourced Quotes

View all Deb Caletti Quotes
I finally learned that it was all right to say something wasn't working for me when it wasn't working. The world doesn't come crashing down when you speak the truth.

Deb Caletti
I kept trying to talk myself out of my second thoughts when they were trying to help me. My advice? When it comes to relationships, second thoughts should be promoted.

Deb Caletti
But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. You've got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.

Deb Caletti
So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.

Deb Caletti
Marriage is like a well-built porch. If one of the two posts leans too much, the porch collapses. So each must be strong enough to stand on its own.

Deb Caletti
We should not give away a moment to anyone who does not deserve it.

Deb Caletti
Rejection, though—it could make the loss of someone you weren't even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.

Deb Caletti
You've got to have someone who loves your body. Who doesn't define you, but sees you. Who loves what he sees. Who you don't have to struggle to be good enough for.

Deb Caletti
I felt a constant, low-flying desperation, the kind you feel when you are trying, trying, trying to get something you will never, ever get.

Deb Caletti
Maybe I was being too picky. Maybe I didn't want to be close to anyone. Maybe I'd just be the type who couldn't feel love all the way or something. I couldn't tell what was wrong, but what was wrong was that it just wasn't right.

Deb Caletti
I had always had a little problem looking out for myself in love. I was afraid people would leave me. So I sort of clung and did everything possible to keep someone around. I didn't have a hard talk with myself about who I was keeping around. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. I clung to people like human life preservers. I thought i'd die if someone left me. Its ironic because now I'm the one who's leaving.

Deb Caletti
Sometimes you think you've found love, when it's really just one of those objects that are shiny in a certain light—a trophy, say, or a ring, or a diamond, even. Glass shards, maybe. You've got to be careful, you do. The shine can blind you. The edges can cut you in way you never imagined. It is up to you to allow that or not.

Deb Caletti
It took me years to figure out that upset was upset, and tumultuousness was not the same thing as passion. Love isn't drama.

Deb Caletti
The most basic and somehow forgettable thing is this: Love is not pain. Love is goodness. And real love—it's less shiny than solid and simple.

Deb Caletti
This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It shold be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.

Deb Caletti
I began to learn the importance of lifting things up and looking underneath.

Deb Caletti
But, finally, I had to open my eyes. I had to stop keeping secrets. The truth, thankfully, is insistent. What I saw then made action necessary. I had to see people for who they were. I had to understand why I made the choices I did. Why I had given them my loyalty. I had to make changed. I had to stop allowing love to be dangerous. I had to learn how to protect myself. But first… I had to look

Deb Caletti
If you look up "charming" in the dictionary, you'll see that it not only has references to strong attraction, but to spells and magic. Then again, what are liars if not great magicians?

Deb Caletti
Maybe it was wrong, or maybe impossible, but I wanted the truth to be one thing. One solid thing.

Deb Caletti
I grow green beans in my garden. The one thing I know about harvesting them is that you need to train your eyes to see the beans. At first it all looks like leaves, until you see one bean and then another and another. If you want clarity, too, you have to look hard. You have to look under things and look from different angles. You'll see what you need to when you do that. A hundred beans, suddenly.

Deb Caletti
Those questions you have? Whether he's the one, whether you feel about him the way you should, or whether the relationship is going okay? When you're not sure whether you're in love with someone or not, the answer is not.

Deb Caletti
We look down our noses at people who've made mistakes in relationships. She's so stupid! How could she do that! Our superiority makes us feel better. But I'd bet everything I have on the fact that people to claim to have a perfect record in love are either lying or have very limited dating experience. People who say, I'd never do that! Someday, unless you are very, very lucky, you'll have a story to tell. Or not to tell.

Deb Caletti
And pity—people who inspire it in you are actually very powerful people. To get someone else to take care of you, to feel sorry for you—that takes a lot of strength, smarts, manipulation. Very powerful people.

Deb Caletti
Too often in my life, love has been defined as "humiliation with occasional roses".

Deb Caletti