David Thorne (writer) Quotes

8 Sourced Quotes

Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing.

David Thorne

I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out, and I am not a fan of carrying anything. Even watching other people carrying things makes me uncomfortable. Mainly because of the possibility they may ask me to help.

David Thorne

Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.

David Thorne

I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.

David Thorne

You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work.

David Thorne

Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense

David Thorne

Should check the Internet and make sure everything on there is correct.

David Thorne

The old man dance, where I tense up, shuffle my feet intermittently, complain about the music volume, and sit down for a rest.

David Thorne

David Thorne

David Thorne

Creative Commons

Born: February 23, 1972 (age 52)

Bio: David Thorne is an Australian humourist, satirist, and Internet personality. His work has been featured on the BBC, the Late Show with David Letterman, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

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