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Because tanning and steroids are only a problem if you plan to live a long time.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Jump way back to one time, Evie and me did this fashion shoot in a junk yard, in a slaughterhouse, in a mortuary. We'd go anywhere to look good by comparison, and what I realize is mostly what I hate about Evie is the fact that she's so vain and stupid and needy. But what I hate most is how she's just like me. What I really hate is me so I hate pretty much everybody.
Chuck Palahniuk
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I was tired and crazy and rushed, and every time I boarded a plane, I wanted the plane to crash. I envied people dying of cancer. I hated my life. I was tired and bored with my job and my furniture, and I couldn't see any way to change things. Only end them.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Dude, the place is filling up," I say. "It feels like we're living in the bottom half of an hourglass." Like somehow we're running out of time.
Chuck Palahniuk
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We went sailing one time, and he wore a Speedo, and any smart woman should know that means bisexual at least.
Chuck Palahniuk
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We're all trapped. It's always 1734. All of us, we're stuck in the same time capsule, the same as those television shows where the same people are marooned on the same desert island for thirty seasons and never age or escape. They just wear more makeup. In a creepy way, those shows are maybe too authentic.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Also consider that someday, when you're dead and rotted, kids with their baby teeth will sit in their time-geography class and laugh about how stupid you were.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Stanislavski was right, you can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The journalist researches a story. The novelist imagines it.
What's funny is, you'd be amazed at the amount of time a novelist has to spend with people in order to create this single lonely voice. This seemingly isolated world.
It's hard to call any of my novels fiction.
Chuck Palahniuk
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You can't be beautiful," Brandy says about a thousand times, "until you feel beautiful.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Why have I sold out? You think I'm supposed to grow old, beating some trite old protest drum that people don't hear anymore? Please; protest is now just a backdrop for a Diesel clothing ad in a slick fashion magazine. My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. It's time — for me, at least — to be clever and seduce people by entertaining them. I'll never be heard if I'm always ranting and griping.
Chuck Palahniuk
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To preserve yourself as the center of the world, to stay your own best authority on everything, your own expert on all topics, infallible, omniscient. Always, every time of the month, forever: Use birth control.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The first time we meet another person an insidious little voice in our head says, 'I might wear eyeglasses or be chunky around the hips or a girl, but at least I'm not Gay or Black or a Jew.' Meaning: I may be me - but at least I have the good sense not to be YOU.
Chuck Palahniuk
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On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Chuck Palahniuk
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There's an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It's when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. This only looks like love.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Most times, it's just a lot easier not to let the world know what's wrong.
Chuck Palahniuk
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You cannot be the person they know and the great, glorious person you want to become. Not at the same time.
Chuck Palahniuk
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For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel peaceful. Not happy. Not sad. Not anxious. Not horny. Just all the higher parts of my brain closing up shop. The cerebral cortex. The cerebellum. That's where my problem is. I'm now simplifying myself. Somewhere balanced in the perfect middle between happiness and sadness. Because sponges never have a bad day.
Chuck Palahniuk
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By the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember.
Chuck Palahniuk
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The truth is you can be orphaned again and again and again. The truth is, you will be. And the secret is, this will hurt less and less each time until you can't feel a thing. Trust me on this.
Chuck Palahniuk
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For sure, they don't teach you this in history class, but in colonial times, the person who got left in the stocks overnight was nothing less than fair game for everybody to nail. Men or women, anybody bent over had no way of knowing who was doing the ram job, and this was the real reason you never wanted to end up here unless you had a family member or a friend who'd stand with you the whole time. To protect you. To watch your ass, for real.
Chuck Palahniuk
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We thought all this teaching was to make us smart. What it did was make us stupid. With all the little facts we learned, we never had the time to think.
Chuck Palahniuk
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Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground.
Chuck Palahniuk
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We've spent so much time judging what other people created that we've created very, very little of our own.
Chuck Palahniuk
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What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
Chuck Palahniuk
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It's creepy, but here we are, the Pilgrims, the crackpots of our time, trying to establish our own alternate reality. To build a world out of rocks and chaos. What it's going to be, I don't know. Even after all that rushing around, where we've ended up is the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. And maybe knowing isn't the point. Where we're standing right now, in the ruins in the dark, what we build could be anything.
Chuck Palahniuk
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My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.
Chuck Palahniuk
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If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
Chuck Palahniuk
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Quote of the day
In England, the profession of the law is that which seems to hold out the strongest attraction to talent, from the circumstance, that in it ability, coupled with exertion, even though unaided by patronage, cannot fail of obtaining reward.
Charles Babbage
Chuck Palahniuk
Creative Commons
Born:
February 21, 1962
(age 62)
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