Celia Rivenbark Quotes

6 Sourced Quotes

And I reminded myself that it's easy to be grateful for the obvious blessings in life, much harder to be grateful for the tough moments and the lessons they teach.

Celia Rivenbark

Severe isn't a word normally associated with a cold. Severe is for weather or third-degree burns...No one responds 'severe' when someone asks how her cold is.In fact, nine out of ten Americans respond to 'How's your cold' with 'It sucks.' So there should be an It Sucks cold formula.

Celia Rivenbark

I'd sooner wear white shoes in February, drink unsweetened tea, and eat Miracle Whip instead of Duke's than utter the words 'you guys'.

Celia Rivenbark

Pecans are not cheap, my hons. In fact, in the South, the street value of shelled pecans just before holiday baking season is roughly that of crack cocaine. Do not confuse the two. It is almost impossible to make a decent crack cocaine tassie, I am told.

Celia Rivenbark

Proper driving etiquette demands that you basically get close enough to a car in front of you at a busy intersection that it would mean that in certain third-world countries, or South Carolina, you would have to get married.

Celia Rivenbark

I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die a horrible death', and thon, which means 'for a stupid T-shirt.' Look it up.

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark

Bio: Celia Rivenbark is humor columnist and author. She was born in Duplin County, North Carolina, where she remained for most of her life. She continued to live in the country side of Duplin County and away from urban life.

Known for:

We're just like you, only prettier
Bless Your Heart, Tramp

Celia Rivenbark on Wikipedia

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