Cathy Guisewite Quotes

18 Sourced Quotes

Breaking up: It's so easy to return their possessions, but so hard to get our brain cells back.

Cathy Guisewite
I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.

Cathy Guisewite
Small wastebasket liners, $1.17... tall wastebasket liners, $2.29... garbage can liners, $3.98... I think I just spent $7.44 buying something I'm going to throw away.

Cathy Guisewite
Where's my tax form? Where's the file that's supposed to hold my W-2 form and interest statement? Where's the mileage log I specifically asked be kept last year?? Where's the monthly check summary? And who's been stuffing Visa receipts in the aluminum foil drawer??!! How embarrassing. I'm surrounded by idiots and I'm the only one in the office.

Cathy Guisewite
This is a business meal. The calories do not count. I am mentally labeling these as 'business calories' so my body will know they were eaten in the line of duty and will process them differently.

Cathy Guisewite
There are only two secrets to a slimmer shape... High heels and shoulder pads!

Cathy Guisewite
Sometimes the best Christmas present is remembering what you've already got.

Cathy Guisewite
I have too many wrinkles to have have this little money!!

Cathy Guisewite
I understand the sensitivities of grown children with little ones of their own!! They'll turn away a mother full of advice, but they'll never say no to one holding a mop.

Cathy Guisewite
So often, happiness is the extent to which we balance our grandiose expectations with reality.

Cathy Guisewite
I was going to sip on a diet soda, but a little voice convinced me I needed the extra calcium from a cup of hot chocolate.

Cathy Guisewite
I think equality should go even farther, Andrea. I want to be able to eat as much as men without getting fat.

Cathy Guisewite
We both look very young! We'll always look young!! Aging: The lie that binds.

Cathy Guisewite
In the '80s, I thought I'd be a success as a woman if I were the president of a billion dollar company, had a sensitive soul-mate husband, two bilingual children, buns of steels, and a compost heap. In the '90s, I pretty much feel I'm a success if I can get through the afternoon without eating a cheesecake.

Cathy Guisewite
Now I'm searching for a slightly overweight, single, childless woman who doesn't have a date and isn't too depressing to be around. It's getting harder to find a girlfriend than a boyfriend.

Cathy Guisewite
After 14 years of dieting, there are only two things I've never lost. Hope and weight.

Cathy Guisewite
There are self-awareness groups, to help you discover who you really are... encounter groups, to help you deal with who you really are... assertiveness training groups to help you stand up for who you really are... Suddenly, the only way to become an individual is to join a group.

Cathy Guisewite
Food... love... mother... career... Live every day to the fullest. Partake of the four basic guilt groups.

Cathy Guisewite