New Rule: The rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Our majority white country just freely elected a black president, something no other democracy has ever done. Take that Canada! Where's your nubian warrior president? Your head of state is a boring white dude named Steven Harper, and mine is a kick-ass black ninja named Barack Hussein Obama!

The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass (ed. Penguin, 2011) - ISBN: 9781101552155