Bill Hicks Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

View all Bill Hicks Quotes
I am available for children's parties, by the way.

Bill Hicks
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.

Bill Hicks
Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

Bill Hicks
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

Bill Hicks
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes].

Bill Hicks
[takes a drag of his cigarette] Mmmm mmmm, tastes like steak and potatoes doesn't it? Mmmm.

Bill Hicks
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

Bill Hicks
On being censored:
It amazes me how afraid they are of 1 person…. basically a joke blower!

Bill Hicks
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.

Bill Hicks
[on the Gulf War] I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops.

Bill Hicks
I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.

Bill Hicks
On drug laws:
Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.

Bill Hicks
You ever look at their faces? "We're pro-life." Don't they look it? Don't they just exude joie de vivre?

Bill Hicks
I hate patriotism. I can't stand it, man — makes me fuckin' sick. It's a round world last time I checked.

Bill Hicks
On being censored:
I didn't go up and say the Pope's a faggot!.... Which is he is, but I didn't say that!

Bill Hicks
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

Bill Hicks
Not all drugs are good, all right? Some of them … are great. Just gotta know your way around them, is all.

Bill Hicks
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

Bill Hicks
Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.

Bill Hicks
Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.

Bill Hicks
Where are your standards?.... Stupid to retarded, is that the level of standards you're trying to put out to America?

Bill Hicks
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

Bill Hicks
Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

Bill Hicks
What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all One?...You can see why the government's cracking down.

Bill Hicks
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.

Bill Hicks
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis, not the young, cool guy...

Bill Hicks
I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'

Bill Hicks
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.

Bill Hicks
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.

Bill Hicks
That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.

Bill Hicks