Did you know that when a guy comes, he comes 200 million sperm? And you're trying to tell me that your child is special because one out of 200 million — that load! we're talking one load! — connected. Gee, what are the fucking odds? 200 million; you know what that means? I have wiped civilizations off my chest with a gray gym sock. That is special. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel! That is special. And I want you to remember that, you two egg-carrying beings out there, with that holier-than-thou "we have the gift of life" attitude. I've tossed universes... in my underpants... while napping! Boom! A milky way shoots into my jockey shorts, "Aaaah, what's for fucking breakfast?"

Rant in E-Minor (1997)