Ben Elton Quotes

14 Sourced Quotes

Uncool people never hurt anybody—all they do is collect stamps, read science-fiction books and stand on the end of railway platforms staring at trains.

Ben Elton
No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.

Ben Elton
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.

Ben Elton
You ain't no Pavlov, Bruce, and we ain't no dribbling dogs. There ain't nothing specific here. I am talking generally. I'm saying that you make killing cool.

Ben Elton
In our sad modern world female pop stars have to be very successful indeed before it is allowable for them to perform with their clothes on.

Ben Elton
The worst thing about being a great power is when you're not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.

Ben Elton
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.

Ben Elton
As truth, for without lies, the truth is worthless. Leave a message, don't leave a message. live, die, it's all the same dream.

Ben Elton
People aren't greedy any more, oh no. They're shopaholics, victims of commercialism. Victims! People don't fail any more. They experience negative success. We are building a culture of gutless, spineless, self-righteous, whining cry-babies who have an excuse for everything and take responsibility for nothing.

Ben Elton
If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.

Ben Elton
If we're going to teach the kids to speak badly let's at least have people doing it who know the rules that are being broken.

Ben Elton
The internet was supposed to liberate knowledge, but in fact it buried it, first under a vast sewer of ignorance, laziness, bigotry, superstition and filth and then beneath the cloak of political surveillance. Now...cyberspace exists exclusively to promote commerce, gossip and pornography. And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.

Ben Elton
People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

Ben Elton
Things get shaped straight and thin for reasons of aerodynamics. Missiles and skyscrapers are shaped the way they are on the soundest principles of engineering, not as monuments to the dick. In fact, so is the dick. The dick is shaped like a dick because that is the most efficient shape for a dick to be. That's why it's dick shaped. I mean a dick shaped like a table would cause all sorts of practical spatial problems.

Ben Elton