Armistead Maupin Quotes

10 Sourced Quotes

Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun.

Armistead Maupin
Mona knocked at the wrong time. Uh…yeah…wait a minute, Mona — Mona shouted through the door. Room service, gentlemen. Just pull the covers up. Michael grinned at Jon. My roommate. Brace yourself. Seconds later, Mona burst through the doorway with a tray of coffee and croissants. Hi! I'm Nancy Drew! You must be the Hardy Boys!

Armistead Maupin
My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

Armistead Maupin
Oh, Mona, we're all damned fools! Some of us just have more fun with it than others. Loosen up, dear! Don't be so afraid to cry... or laugh, for that matter. Laugh all you want and cry all you want and whistle at pretty men in the street and to hell with anybody who thinks you're a damned fool!

Armistead Maupin
Taureans are stubborn as hell. They never want to tell you what sign they are.... But underneath that tough Taurus hide beats the heart of a hopeless romantic.

Armistead Maupin
Nobody's happy. What's happy? Happiness is over when the lights come on." The older woman poured herself a glass of sangria. "Screw that," she said quietly. "What?" "Screw that. Wash your mouth out. Who taught you that half-assed existential drivel?

Armistead Maupin
All I know is this: If you and papa are responsible for the way I am, then I thank you with all my heart, for it is the light and the joy of my life.

Armistead Maupin
I'm not sure I even need a lover, male or female. Sometimes I think I'd settle for five good friends.

Armistead Maupin
I think a lot of gay people who are not dealing with their homosexuality get into right-wing politics.

Armistead Maupin
Mona's Law. That's what she calls it. She says you can have a hot job, a hot lover and a hot apartment, but you can't have all three at the same time.

Armistead Maupin