Mature love is not a surrender of the self but a surrender to the self. The ego surrenders its hegemony of the personality to the heart, but in this surrender it is not annihilated. Rather it is strengthened because its roots in the body are nourished by the joy that the body feels.
Joy: The Surrender to the Body and to Life (ed. Penguin, 1995) - ISBN: 9781101501658