Alan Bennett - Headmaster Quotes

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Headmaster: They were all socialists. Why is it always the intelligent people who are socialists?

Alan Bennett

Headmaster: Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

Alan Bennett

Headmaster: Clad in the magnificent white silk robes of an Arab prince, with in his belt the short curved, gold sword of the Ashraf descendants of the Prophet, he hoped to pass unnoticed through London. Alas, he was mistaken. "Who am I?" he would cry despairingly. "You are Lawrence of Arabia" passers-by would stop him and say, "And I claim my five pounds."

Alan Bennett

Headmaster: I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

Alan Bennett

Franklin: Have you ever thought, Headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
Headmaster: Of course they're out of date. Standards always are out of date. That is what makes them standards.

Alan Bennett