Robert Orben Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

View all Robert Orben Quotes
Dick Cheney has to be the kindliest attack dog ever.

Robert Orben
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.

Robert Orben
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Robert Orben
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.

Robert Orben
The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

Robert Orben
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

Robert Orben
Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Robert Orben
Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen.

Robert Orben
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Robert Orben
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

Robert Orben
They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.

Robert Orben
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Robert Orben
I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature.

Robert Orben
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Robert Orben
Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.

Robert Orben
Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.

Robert Orben
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert Orben
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

Robert Orben
I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

Robert Orben
As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.

Robert Orben
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it—after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

Robert Orben
Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.

Robert Orben
Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.

Robert Orben
Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

Robert Orben