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She boasted the general battle-ax demeanor of an especially strict governess. This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs. Alexia liked her immediately.
Gail Carriger
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Oh, Lady Maccon, I am unreservedly in love with her. That black hair, that sweet disposition, those capital hats.
Gail Carriger
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I never gossip. I observe. And then relay my observations to practically everyone.
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No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.
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It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.
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Alexia gave in to his demanding touch, but only, of course, because he sounded so pathetic. It had nothing, whatsoever to do with her own quickening heartbeat.
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Oh, Professor Lyall, are you making a funny? It doesn't suit you. The sandy-haired Beta gave Lady Maccon a dour look. I am exploring new personality avenues. Well, stop it. Yes, my lady.
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What's that? she asked the girl, wrinkling her nose. Oh, that? That's just Pillover. And what's a pillover, when it's at home? My little brother. Ah, I commiserate. I have several of my own. Dashed inconvenient, brothers.
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Please, Lord Maccon, use one of the cups. My delicate sensibilities. The earl actually snorted. My dear Miss Tarabotti, if you possessed any such things, you certainly have never shown them to me.
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The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.
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Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?
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Which was why, some six hours later, Alexia Maccon's daughter was born inside the head of an octomaton in the presence of her husband, a comatose werewolf dandy, and a French inventor.
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Lord Akeldama sighed. 'You lovebirds, how will I endure such flirtations constantly in my company? How déclassé, Lord Maccon, to love your own wife.
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I kissed her," he explained, aggrieved. "Mmm, yes, I had the dubious pleasure of witnessing that, ah-hem, overly public occurrence." Lyall sharpened his pen nib, using a small copper blade that ejected from the end of his glassicals. "Well! Why hasn't she done anything about it?" the Alpha wanted to know. "You mean like whack you upside the noggin with that deadly parasol of hers? I would be cautious in that area if I were you.
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Madame Lefoux shrugged. "I do not know about that, my lady. I mean to say, one's life is one thing; one's technology is an entirely different matter.
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The duke contents himself mainly with attempting to rule the world and other suchlike nonsense. When one is guiding the patterns of the social universe, a single spinster preternatural is unlikely to cause one undue distress.
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Lord Akeldama did so love to know all the gossip about the mundane world, but it was in the manner of a cat amusing himself among the butterflies without a need to interfere should their wings get torn off. They were only butterflies, after all.
Gail Carriger
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Quote of the day
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash
Gail Carriger
Creative Commons
Born:
May 4, 1976
(age 47)
Bio:
Gail Carriger is the pen name of Tofa Borregaard, an archaeologist and author of steampunk fiction. She was born in Bolinas, an unincorporated community in Marin County, California, and attended high school at Marin Academy.
Known for:
Soulless (2009)
Prudence (2015)
Changeless (2010)
Manners & Mutiny (2015)
Blameless (2010)
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alexia
maccon
lord
lady
looked
lyall
time
husband
vampire
lefoux
tunstell
madame
life
earl
parasol
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