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Eoin Colfer -
Artemis Fowl (2012)
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I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?
Eoin Colfer
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Who can fathom the workings of the criminal mind? I said, trying to sound intelligent.
Well, you, I hope, said April. That is what I'm paying you for.
Eoin Colfer
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
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Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
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Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.
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Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder.
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Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. I remember, she said aloud. You saved me. Artemis smiled back. It never happened, he said.
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The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.
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We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
Eoin Colfer
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Quote of the day
Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.
Robert F. Kennedy
Eoin Colfer
Creative Commons
Born:
May 14, 1965
(age 58)
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