Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

85 Sourced Quotes

You're never too old to play. You're only too old for low-rise jeans.

Ellen DeGeneres
What are perfect strangers? Do they have perfect hair? Do they dress perfectly?

Ellen DeGeneres
The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It's a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals.

Ellen DeGeneres
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

Ellen DeGeneres
I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush.

Ellen DeGeneres
For a long time I thought I knew for sure who I was. I grew up in New Orleans and became a comedian. And there was everything that came along with that. The nightclubs. The smoking. The drinking. Then I turned 13.

Ellen DeGeneres
I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before he decides he wants to teach it how to drive.

Ellen DeGeneres
Penguins are monogamous for life. Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't exactly surprise me that much 'cause they all look alike — it's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.

Ellen DeGeneres
I have a terrible problem with procrastination... a friend told me, "Well, you should go to therapy." And I thought about it, but then I said, "Wait a minute. Why should I pay a stranger to listen to me talk when I can get strangers to pay to listen to me talk?" And that's when I got the idea of touring.

Ellen DeGeneres
I sincerely hope that people (and by people, I'm including you) buy the book and like it. (By the way, if you're reading this in a bookstore or reading a friend's copy, the book is much funnier when you own your own copy — don't ask me why that is, it just is.)

Ellen DeGeneres
They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thought was gonna happen, but in my head, I had for five or six years known that he was gonna call me over.

Ellen DeGeneres
My name is Ellen and I'm a vegetarian. Just to add another label to me: I am a lesbian, aquarian and vegetarian. I've said it...

Ellen DeGeneres
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.

Ellen DeGeneres
I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy.

Ellen DeGeneres
I think I'm healthier than I've ever been. I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm more myself. I can't stress that enough. I think kindness is the key to yourself and to other people. … I think I found out who I was, and I think I really try to be a better person every single day. And she [Portia de Rossi, her wife] makes me better.

Ellen DeGeneres
Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.

Ellen DeGeneres
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.

Ellen DeGeneres
"I knew if I came out, there was a possibility I would lose my career. But I didn't do it for my career, I did it for me to live my truth," she says. "I thought, 'I don't want to live and have any shame whatsoever.' I should be proud of who I am, and I don't care if people approve or not. It is who I am."

Ellen DeGeneres
When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

Ellen DeGeneres
And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.

Ellen DeGeneres
It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

Ellen DeGeneres
Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"

Ellen DeGeneres
Some people believe that to find happiness, you should live each day of your life as if it's your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment you have. Other people believe that you should live each day as if it's your first because then every day can be the beginning of a new journey.

Ellen DeGeneres
True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.

Ellen DeGeneres
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.

Ellen DeGeneres