A. P. Herbert Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.

A. P. Herbert
Don't let's go to the dogs tonight,
For mother will be there.

A. P. Herbert
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.

A. P. Herbert
Let's stop somebody from doing something!
Everybody does too much.

A. P. Herbert
Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.

A. P. Herbert
Vladimir, Vladimir, Vladimir Kuts
Nature's attempt at an engine in boots.
On the Russian runner Vladimir Kuts

A. P. Herbert
Let's find out what everyone is doing,
And then stop everyone from doing it.

A. P. Herbert
A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.

A. P. Herbert
Nothing is wasted, nothing is in vain:
The seas roll over but the rocks remain.

A. P. Herbert
Other people's babies—
That's my life!
Mother to dozens,
And nobody's wife.
Of a nanny

A. P. Herbert
An Act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.

A. P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity
Are constructed with considerable care.

A. P. Herbert
As my poor father used to say
In 1863,
Once people start on all this Art
Goodbye, moralitee!

A. P. Herbert
On trying to write a cheque on a cow:
'Was the cow crossed?'
'No, your worship, it was an open cow.'

A. P. Herbert
This high official, all allow,
Is grossly overpaid;
There wasn't any Board, and now
There isn't any Trade.

A. P. Herbert
The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure—the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

A. P. Herbert
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

A. P. Herbert
Modern dictionaries are pusillanimous works, preferring to record what has been done than to say what ought to be done.

A. P. Herbert
There's alcohol in plant and tree.
It must be Nature's plan
That there should be in fair degree
Some alcohol in Man.

A. P. Herbert
The defendant, Mr. Haddock, is, among other things, an author, which fact should alone dispose you in the plaintiff's favour.

A. P. Herbert
It cannot be too clearly understood that this is not a free country, and it will be an evil day for the legal profession when it is.

A. P. Herbert
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

A. P. Herbert
It is like the thirteenth stroke of a crazy clock, which not only is itself discredited but casts a shade of doubt over all previous assertions.

A. P. Herbert
The Farmer will never be happy again;
He carries his heart in his boots;
For either the rain is destroying his grain
Or the drought is destroying his roots.

A. P. Herbert
It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behavior not otherwise excusable.

A. P. Herbert